How do I assess my libido?

1. Understand what the libido is

Libido is a term from psychology, introduced by Sigmund Freud, which describes sexual desire or sexual energy. It is not just a physiological phenomenon, but also a state influenced by emotional, psychological, and social factors.

To assess your libido, it is important to understand that it can fluctuate based on:

• Hormones: for instance, the levels of testosterone in men and estrogen in women play a significant role.
• Health status: chronic illnesses, medications, or conditions such as depression can affect your desire.
• The relational context: a harmonious relationship can stimulate libido, while conflicts or a lack of communication can diminish it.
• External factors: stress, fatigue, lifestyle habits (diet, sleep, exercise) and even major life events.

2. Identify the signs of a "healthy" libido or a decreased one

Assessing one's libido requires careful self-observation. Here are some elements to guide you:

• A "healthy" libido: This does not mean that you must have a constant or frequent desire. A healthy libido is one that matches your own desires and needs, without causing distress or frustration in your daily or sexual life.
• Signs of a decreasing libido :
  • You experience little or no sexual desire over a long period of time.
  • You feel indifference or a lack of interest in intimacy with your partner.
  • Your desire is affected by negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, or sadness.
• An excessive libido :
  • You experience a frequent or obsessive need for sexual intercourse that interferes with other aspects of your life.

If you notice significant and persistent changes in your sexual desire, it may be helpful to consult a healthcare professional to understand the causes.

3. Tools to assess your libido

Several methods can help you assess your libido in a more objective way:

a) Self-assessment questionnaires

Some scientifically validated tools can be used to measure your sexual desire. For example:

• The HSDD test (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder), which helps to identify a hypoactive sexual desire disorder.
• Assessment scales such as the Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI) or the International Index of Erectile Function (IIEF) for men.

These questionnaires address topics such as the frequency of sexual thoughts, overall satisfaction, and obstacles to desire.

b) The libido diary

Keeping a journal where you note your feelings, state of mind, and daily sexual desire can be very enlightening. This tracking can highlight patterns or factors influencing your libido.

c) Observing your body

The body often sends signals:

• Do you experience physical reactions such as morning erections or natural lubrication?
• Does your energy level affect your sexual desires?

4. Factors that can influence libido

Several factors can positively or negatively impact your sexual desire. Here are some examples:

• Physiological: Hormonal fluctuations (menstrual cycle, andropause, menopause) have a strong influence on libido.
• Psychologiques : L’estime de soi, le stress, les traumatismes ou la dépression peuvent diminuer le désir.
• Relational: A conflictual relationship or a lack of sexual communication can affect libido.
• Lifestyle: A balanced diet, physical activity, and quality sleep can improve your overall energy and, consequently, your libido.

5. What should you do if you notice any problems?

If you are experiencing a decrease or unusual fluctuation in your libido, here are some recommendations:

a) Communicate with your partner

Open communication can resolve many misunderstandings and reduce tensions. Speak honestly about your needs, desires, and concerns.

b) Consult a professional

Un médecin généraliste, un sexologue ou un psychologue peut vous accompagner pour identifier les causes sous-jacentes et proposer des solutions adaptées. Parfois, des traitements médicaux ou une thérapie peuvent être envisagés.

c) Adoptez un mode de vie sain

• Réduisez le stress par des activités comme le yoga, la méditation ou les loisirs.
• Maintenez une alimentation équilibrée et pratiquez une activité physique régulière.
• Améliorez la qualité de votre sommeil.

d) Soyez patient et bienveillant envers vous-même

Votre libido peut évoluer au fil du temps. Évitez de vous culpabiliser et prenez le temps de comprendre ce que votre corps et votre esprit vous signalent.